learning to navigate the world, j-bear style

Dr. J-Bear and Mr. Hyde

This is my life with my son right now:

Mornings are mornings. No one likes mornings, according to me. He gets up, he goes through eating his cereal and drinking his milk and we time everything by when Justin Time comes on Sprout. No joke. Sprout, don’t ever change your programming. We do wash up, get the backpack and we’re off to school. There might be some minor fussing about the washing up but it’s become a game now so no huge deal.

He is awesome about going to school. He hops out of the car all happy, we point to some things in the sky (bird! cloud! plane!) and we head into his classroom. He greets everyone happily, does his tasks and bids me farewell. Apparently after I leave, he’s the best boy to ever boy, too. Listens, does as he should, is generally just a peach.

Then he comes home.

What happens between school and home, I don’t know. It’s like I end up with a completely different child. He is angry, grumpy, refusing to listen, refusing to do anything besides tantrum and hit his head on anything. By anything, I mean the floor, the furniture, the brick fireplace, the tile kitchen floor… Can you understand my horror here? It’s a miracle he’s not truly caused himself grievous injury here.

Now, this was starting before he ever got sick so my want to chalk it up to that is kind of wrong. His teachers report nothing different, nor do his therapists. Is it just because home is a safe place to lose his mind that he does so? This all culminated in a 3am massive meltdown tantrum this morning. He was bull that I would not let him tear at my face and rip at my hair as a stim. I moved him away from me gently, told him no, and turned away from him which ended his world.

I’m at a loss. This is tough stuff. I talk him through feelings and through pretty much everything we do. I never stop talking. I am obnoxious. Everything we do, I’m half narrating. I make sure to use simple terms, everything. The only thing I am not using is pictures lately, so maybe we need to improve on that?

I am not saying my son is by any means a demon child, I just don’t understand how I went from my mellow guy to this angry little bear who wants to rip my face off as much as he wants to play with me.

1 Comment

  1. anne rossetti

    Maybe he’s working so hard at school, that when he gets home, he just has to let it all go (just a guess – I’m no expert). Hopefully, as the year progresses, things will calm down. You’re an amazing Mom – I’m praying for sunnier days , which I’m sure will come.

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