Three years, quite nearly to the day. That’s how long I have been pursuing a service dog for J. He had only recently been diagnosed when I started and the notion was one that was come up with on a whim. I knew, of course, that there’s a camaraderie that animals can offer that reaches beyond that which fellow humans are sometimes capable of. It is the most clear with people who struggle to communicate traditionally and with people who struggle to fit into what is considered “mainstream” society. This bond with animals had been so very precious to me as a child, sometimes all that got me through. The moment I saw that actual service dogs were possible for children with autism I was sold on the idea.
The involvement with 4 Paws for Ability, while educational, was ultimately a major and massive mistake. I was ignorant going in and I regret that now. The information I needed to know was not easily and readily accessible to me. Maybe, prior to 2013, it was a different organization but currently it is not what I was led to believe.
Yet still I fought. Still I believed in Brooklyn. I still, right now, believe in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is an amazing girl. She cannot help that she was failed in her upbringing. She deserved better, as did J.
If you follow our Facebook page you’ve seen me gushing all weekend. How could I not? Blossom has been the finest guest and a fine ambassador for her breed. She’s been a fantastic friend to J and a wonderful breath of fresh air to our household. That sore, aching hole we were left with by the actions of another was eased tenderly for a while. It’s an important step towards our healing, like the first stitch placed in a deep wound.
Tonight something happened that in the immediate occurrence I believed was going to slam the door shut on a poodle being a great choice of dog. I was so scared we’d put Blossom off to ever wanting to spend time with us ever again; that we would be an unsuitable place for her to spend time. You see, J had a meltdown. I do not often talk about his meltdowns because it’s a hard thing for him to endure. I don’t want to splash those details publicly. It’s disrespectful to him, so please forgive a lack of details in this blog. Suffice to say it was chaotic, extremely loud and extremely overwhelming if you’ve never witnessed such a thing. Initially, Blossom was unsure. She looked to the adults for guidance and took our cues. Where we could we reassured her but honestly I got so wrapped into caring for J it was hard to give her non-stop coddling as I would have had to for Brooklyn through these initial episodes.
Blossom didn’t need it. She was observing, taking reassurance when it was offered and intelligently disobeying commands. I sent her out of the room when J was at his most overwhelmed. She moved away but refused to leave. If there was an opportunity, she pushed in to help try to calm J. She licked his feet, knowing he responds warmly to her kisses. She nuzzled his hands. She cuddled against him. She backed off when he wasn’t receptive and rather than be rebuffed, she tried again when it seemed a better idea.
I’m going to start crying again typing this.
Once all was calm and I could leave J to sleep I beckoned her over and just hugged her. I cried into her soft, curly coat. I told her thank you a hundred times.
The goal I had in mind in 2013 seemed increasingly like a figment and I did not know how much of my initial dream I had thought impossible until suddenly I saw it play out. This was from a dog who is magnificently trained with many tasks yet not trained for a child with autism specifically, too.
If she can do it I have every reason to hope that someday soon there will be a dog from her line in our home full time able to do that and more.
The sun shone our way, finally. And I smiled.
Thank you Blossom, Smile Sunshine My Way. We needed you and you answered the call. Any further time we have with you is a bonus after this gift.